It’s quite natural to want to withdraw for a while and it is at this time that children can feel lonely and disconnected from their grieving parent. But in a mother-child relationship, the parent does wield an amazing amount of emotional power. A toxic relationship is a two-way street. When a girl loses her mother at a young age, everything she would have become changes.The loss is so monumental, it creates a seismic shift. Of course, you are grateful to have had your child for 20 or 30 years, or sometimes much longer, but that does not mean your grief is … Another mother expressed her feelings when told that her six-year-old son had suddenly died because of a congenital heart problem. While the experience of pain and loss is universal, transcending culture and class, the grieving process … The day after her death the light in the den was turned on. Numbness, confusion, fear, guilt, relief and anger are just a few of the feelings you may have. As the years go by, I’ve learned a mother’s love never diminishes; in fact, my love for my son has grown, just as it would have if he was still alive. Walk through your neighborhood, there are homes with vilomahs inside. Finally I saw him. When your mother or father dies, that bond is torn. “I went through a series of reactions —numbness, disbelief, guilt, and anger toward my husband and the doctor for not realizing how serious his condition was.” Anger can be another symptom of grief. It’s up to you, his mother, his father. If that sounds dramatic, then you probably didn't lose your mother at a young age. A parent whose child has died. The difference between today's grief and tomorrow's is that now there is a name. A child is a symbol of the future and losing that child represents a loss of hopes and dreams. In response to this loss you may feel a multitude of strong emotions. Being a parent has been the most rewarding - and the most painful experience of my life. Honor your child … Vilomah. I don't feel happiness or sadness or angry from him but I do wonder why hes here and why our life is so hard now when it was so perfect before. The parent-child bond is perhaps the most fundamental of all human ties. A parent whose child has died is a vilomah. It’s important that your child is able to still feel connected to the parent who has died and to you. The last three weeks there was a good Samaritan fellow she met on Facebook who drove six hours to stay with her to take care of her: shopping and cooking meals. Sometimes her mother would get her released from the hospital after three or four days and sometimes her mom would not. Scan the news on the web and you will read about a vilomah. When an important family member dies, the whole family can feel fractured and incomplete. I can hardly imagine what my life would be like if I had not been a parent. I am still his mother. Parents universally say that when their child dies, a part of them dies. I am sometimes angry at her mom, and sometimes angry at myself. Expect to feel a multitude of emotions. If an adult child dies as a result of an accident or illness, parents are frequently told by friends or family that they should be grateful their child lived as long as he or she did. Watch the evening news and you will see a vilomah. No child dies without a legacy and a purpose for those that are left behind. Dee on January 06, 2019: Well i just saw flashing of lights where mt window is and she died 29 of dec. The woman she would have been changes and the woman she will become will forever be affected by that loss.. ANGELA MILLER is an internationally known writer and speaker on grief and loss.