Honestly, if I had this three and a half years ago I wouldn't be single right now. If I could give you gold, I would. Wow. I’m in a great relationship with someone I love and respect and admire so much. I've already broken up before it started so thank you☺, [–]skymaiden44 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children). [–]WhatitsonlyWednesday 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (0 children). But overthinking every step of a relationship can lead to it stalling rather than moving forward in a natural way. Realize that your SO may view you in the same lense. Thank you for this. I haven’t dated in years and years and every time something between us goes less than perfect I panic and think maybe this is going to fall apart but it never does and I think I feel this way because after years of not dating I’ve spent too much time imagining this perfect relationship and forgotten that humans are imperfect and relationships are imperfect but that doesn’t mean they aren’t strong! I’m a HUGE over thinker and just started dating someone (month 3 I believe). [–]mentalhydra 46 points47 points48 points 2 years ago* (0 children). Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Anxiety that you aren't "enough". It’s in a special color which meant it was a 17k option alone and took months to paint. Thank you so much. Telling short guys that you'd date them because you "aren't a fan of masculine, dominant guys" isn't really a compliment, You are important, beautiful, and powerful don’t let anyone tell you different. I’m really glad I came across this. Stop telling yourself that it is acceptable or okay to overthink because actually it is not. I can't thank you enough for this advice. But it doesn't stop me from thinking it. [–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] 2 years ago stickied comment (2 children). You don't have to have an official anxiety diagnosis, but the struggles that come with this are real. I’m so glad you found some solutions to the problem and I hope I can do the same! I then ask myself what conclusion the facts lead to. Here are the three dangers of being an overthinker: 1. [–]13Luthien4077 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). I think him living with us is taking a toll on my relationship, but boyfriend wants to be supportive. But in reality the man loves and cares for me (to be nerdy, that he loves me beyond a reasonable doubt and not just a preponderance of the evidence), I’m not sure this will work for everyone as it can be hard to separate facts from the fears and assumptions we tie to them, but it has helped me so much, [–]Nairinn 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). He now has a new job, but is still living with us. Hope it can tho, Honestly, and i don't mean to sound like a dick, but when i was 16ish i got my heart broken i just tried to convince myself that i have only live 1/6th of my life and if it didn't work out then it wasn't meant to be, i'm 27 now and still haven't found 'the one' and that's fine, because worse case scenario i'm only half way through life, you're gonna be alright bud, promise. [–]rabblerouser26 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). you. Here’s how you can stop letting overthinking destroy your relationships. Partner is a bigger over-thinker; she interrupts or questions others mid-sentence and shrugs off personal advice (even cooking recipes) for internet articles. This is some solid advice, & I will certainly be referring back to it in the coming months. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. As I'm sitting in the corner by myself with my headphones in completely shut down, I needed this breath of fresh air. I was talking to an MD about over-thinkers (I do it too) and asked him 'why do we do it?' [–]AllieBeeKnits 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children). Yet, the problem of overthinking extends into many areas of our lives. Yet, everyone who considers themselves an over-thinker really just hasn’t thought everything out and needs help figuring it out. Thank you, [–]cinnamonxkitten 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), This is super helpful! And I have a tendency to do the same thing of overthinking. Reading this helps to quell that anxiety but it's a long road to travel, [–]wandeurlyy 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), So this may just be me as one whose line of work is in the law. - Trust her/him, a strong relationship is an intelligent one; your partner is processing the world just as much as you, be confident that the relationship will figure itself out with clear communication and a healthy dose of patience. What an inspiration you are, kind sir. Currently my issue is overthinking before anything even STARTS. [–]humble_colossus 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children), [–]Stebben84 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children), I over think to the point of not even being able to date. Thank you so much. Then get up.and do something productive or distracting, it should be easier to think about things less, at that point. Overthinking can cause you to obsess over relationship and life situations, adding unnecessary drama and problems. [–]cadfan1a 255 points256 points257 points 2 years ago (11 children). Dressing extremely well makes you feel uncomfortable, smiling [–]blu_sk_eye_s 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). Let your partner know, even if they don't understand. [–]HelloMolly26 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children). [–]cheese2253 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children), this is me u/kldavis10 but when I forget to think this way, it sometimes combines with my emotional instability and makes for a freaking tornado and I'm sorry you have to deal with all that, [–]vivalakitties 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), Really appreciate you posting this. I wish I had known this sooner ): [–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children), I needed to read this! Meditation helps to quiet negative … You can imagine this may not be the greatest attribute to have maintaining a relationship, long-distance. Over-thinking fabricates problems and gory “what if” horror stories. What is it? We fear heartache. I'd already started to establish boundaries and habits to make the impact of being this way less (like not texting if it's an important issue) etc but this is super helpful thanks OP! [–]sunshinekush 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), [–]Tbell0126 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). YES! Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. In one study, 39 couples were asked to answer questionnaires about how satisfied they were with their relationship. Here are 10 apparent signs that prove you might suffer from overthinking disorder: 1. This gives you such a good perspective on so much, really! To have troughs you must have peaks. What works for me is when i catch myself making up scenarios i just tell myself "fakeee" and then i brush it off and think about something else. if u can't stop thinking about it, try to go positive. No pickup or PUA lingo please. So, instead of overthinking about how to stop overthinking in a relationship, try to be mindful and present in the moment. :), [–]Dillogence 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children), [–]Appa_yipp-yipp 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). This lovely time may end or not, but don't let the potential finality of the experience scare you and pack your bags. Hope it helps others if you are an overthinker; you aren't alone. Thank you soooo much, from an overthinker. My relationship is great, and we live together now, but at first it was long distance. [Edit, added more ideas and made it more readable]. As an over thinker in a long distance relationship, this is helpful/reassuring. 2. This is a very good and important post, thank you OP for writing this. Not being able to makes you feel anxious and agitated, and fills you with self-doubt. [–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago* (0 children). Perhaps you’re It's such a hot topic and can be such a frustrating experience, but we've probably all been ghosted and… Add anxiety into the picture and someone who overthinks and it’s almost unbearable sometimes. Nice!! Thank you! Thank you for all these tidbits and I'll keep it to my heart, [–]raucous_mute 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (0 children). NEVER assume. It's good to think about the positive side of things when those inevitable thoughts of negativity arises. These are fantastic advice. I am deeply appreciative. As another over-thinker also in a long distance relationship - this was such a blessing to read! This is actually exactly what I needed right now. Thank you. And that's okay because their wants and desires are valid too. I doubted his intentions for me and the love he was feeling. Accept The Fact That You Are An Overthinker And It Is Negative. Please keep the rules of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. I know. Perhaps you consistently fall into boring them out on a date. Is this toxic? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Overthinking Relationships – How To Stop It. Thank you! Some advice for the over-thinkers in a relationship. Thank you for this, I am constantly overthinking in my relationship. you don’t assert yourself and your desires enough. I know cuz i been there. Working on this myself-thank you. I am also an avid overthinker and get anxious thinking about my SO. [–]JustLetMeBeMane 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (0 children), Definitely saving this to read for when I’m not running on 3 hours sleep. You are also their source of happiness and man, you got one loyal subscriber! Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. You only see the things that are a small part of something much bigger. My bf tells me I spend too much time anticipating the bad things and I miss out enjoying the good things. I have this and since realizing I do everyday gets easier! The not calling example is an easy one, because most of us can relate in the early stages of a relationship to the chaotic tangle of thoughts that flood our minds, interpreting and over-analyzing, combing emails for tone and decoding ambiguous emojis. Yes, I understand the pain of long distance all too well. I’m an over thinker and I’m a worrier. You have no idea ♥️. This is fantastic! When this happens, anxiety takes over while inducing a hefty dosage of overthinking. idea and you didn’t want to upset or disappoint the people around In an articulated respectful manner. But refer back to ask. This over-thinker thanks you! You may be surprised how much of a source of happiness your SO is. Know the scenarios theyre making up in their head is fake. You might feel as if you are preparing yourself for a future shock, … Useful articles and videos are allowed. He said humans are problem-solvers by nature.. which is why we've advanced into this civilization we have now. - [NA]: We apply a double standard to a lot of things in life; I found I was applying a double standard for my relationship. The better you feel, the more you will have to offer the ones you love most. I love this. To all the over-thinkers out there, you aren’t alone in the struggles hopefully the comment section reflects that this is something we all are working to improve on. I'm trying to build respect and trust - but I doubt if this can work considering her nature. Why do I think of it with a lense of idealism? It's all about how we interpret things. [–]humble_colossus 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children). My overthinking coupled with depression can lead me to believe scenarios and thoughts that just aren’t fact. But stopping this is harder than one might imagine. If it's urgent, send us a message. Wow. (‘10 Ways Over-thinking Destroys Your Happiness’ – Peggy Nolan). bad with women, then you’re bad with women because you don’t woman openly scares you because of the possibility of - [NA]: You are probably not the only over thinker in the room; with clearer communication, you may be surprised how thoughtful your partner is. With my current boyfriend, it has shown every time that he loves me and I’m just focusing on fears and insecurities, trying to make fact fits those. Let go easily . .. thank you !! If anything, your SO is one of the few people you CAN be as imperfect as you can be and have them still admire you. I always think I beat my insecurities but I find out quickly every time that I haven’t yet. I am only attracted to those who are attracted to me, has anyone else felt this way? Try your best to be kind. from your own sexuality and become scared or nervous when people [–]__HeatherBelle 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (0 children). afraid to introduce yourself to women you find attractive or to ask I hope I can use your suggestions to improve my relationship. I’ve been in a relationship with someone for about 4 years, and I still struggle with overthinking things and the “what if’s”